Your Tidying Up Companion

It’s time to share my latest project! I’ve spent the past year talking about The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up with almost everyone I know, and many people I don’t know. Your Tidying Up Companion is my ode to the KonMari Method, a reflection on the ways it has changed my life, and a call-to-action that will hopefully help others commit to their own “tidying marathon.” 

My guide is not only a summary of the technique but an account of the following:

• how I applied the complete KonMari Method of Tidying Up to my home
• answers to commonly asked questions (and commonly raised objections) about the method
• when I decided not to follow instructions and why
• personal roadblocks (the hardest things to let go)
• additional categories, including digital tidying
• how KonMari changed my life in ways I had no idea it would change

Although I generally agree with Marie Kondo's recommendations, I've considered each and every one of them thoroughly, and I offer my own perspective of our impaired approach to clutter. Through conversations, book clubs, and tutorials I've given on tidying, I've learned a lot about people's feelings on the topic, why we avoid it, and how difficult it can be to confront our stuff. My companion offers a clear and simple approach to the method, because I truly want you to get it done. 

Of course, your best bet is to buy The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, follow the instructions, and do it yourself. And yet, I’ve come across too many people with reservations and questions to leave it all to one book, one path. Maybe my perspective doesn’t add much, but if there’s a chance that someone will see the method differently because of the way I describe it, I wanted to try. I thoroughly believe in the KonMari Method's ability to create positive change, even though I neither sought nor expected it for myself at the time. I was a skeptical reader who became intrigued by Kondo’s cheerful and confident voice, and I decided to trust her as I went along for the ride. 

I consider this my chance to pay the magic forward. I hope I can prove myself handy as a real-life example of someone who has faced each step of the tidying process. Sometimes it’s hard to take the leap from reading the instructions to action, so I’m offering my perspective and support as a companion for your journey. 

Your Tidying Up Companion is available on Amazon Kindle here. This is my first book, but it won’t be my last. I hope you like it. 

Tidy, Baby, One More Time

In honor of my one year tidying anniversary, I did it all again! I just finished the first draft of the tidying guide I've been writing, which I'm now calling Your Tidying Up Companion, and I thought it would be helpful to read along as I tidied to see if my instructions made sense. Marie Kondo says after you've had completed your tidying marathon, you’ll never have to do it again, and she’s right. My stuff was nowhere near its former state, and I would have been fine with “maintenance tidying." Nevertheless, I was curious to see how I felt about my prior decisions, particularly as I noticed items that felt dormant in their homes.

Pulling my things together again, one happy sight was that my piles were much smaller. I never felt overwhelmed by the sight of it all in one place. The items were already categorized and clicked together nicely, only beckoning for some TLC.

Starting with Clothes, I got into spark joy mode right away, and since there were hardly any sparkless items, each category was like a good vibes session. “You’re doing great! Keep it up! Aw, I know I haven’t worn you lately, but you’re awesome.” (Yes, I said these words aloud to my clothes.) Sure enough, several dress shirts in, I stopped. It was a shirt I used to wear a lot; after saving it last year, the shirt hadn't moved off its hanger once. Instead of struggling with my feelings, the words just popped out of my mouth: “Thank you.” I folded my shirt and set it aside.

Finishing clothes, I set aside 33 items to discard. Again, the pile felt right. I knew everything in it was ready to go. They were mostly items I was on the fence about a year ago, and I had let tidying errors (value, need, sentiment) factor into the decision. The items I chose to keep went back to their homes, and again they clicked into their happy little teams. Because I didn’t discard 200 items, my closet didn’t look much different than before, so there's not this huge transformation to bask in. My closet is what it is, I had confidence in my decisions, and I was glad to send some clothes to a better home.

Books didn’t take too long, but I slimmed my library down by 15 books. Papers were more of a slog; over three hours, I took out another 20% of what I had left. Getting back into the groove of selecting items that bring me joy, I was ready to take on the rest of my Komono.

Movies and music were my most dormant items. Even slimmed down, they took up a lot of space, emitted a lot of visual/textual clutter, and I just wasn’t using them. The biggest red flag was my temptation to buy new storage for them - that is, hide them. I struggled as I did last year for much of the day trying to figure out what to keep, but in the end I discarded almost everything. I decided if I really wanted the movies again, I would find them, and the music was already backed up digitally in the cloud. I didn’t need the physical copies lying around, so off they went.

This decision emptied what was left of my CD tower and most shelves of my entertainment center. This was a really big deal for me in terms of moving on. I felt like a big hole had been unplugged, and I proceeded to send the rest of my A/V equipment with it. I’d been watching a lot less TV over the past year, so I didn’t really need this second set-up in my office. Without the equipment or media, I didn’t need the furniture to store it either. Poof! A 6’x6’ section of wall opened up.

I proceeded to buy a FJÄLKINGE shelving unit from IKEA, which replaced six pieces of furniture: three bookshelves, a file drawer, entertainment center, and CD Tower. I reserved the top shelf as my "personal shrine," two shelves for books, and the bottom shelf for my writing and memory box. I placed my valuables and office supplies in one drawer, and my electrical equipment/gadgets in the other. A year after my tidying festival, my Clothes were happy in the closet, Household Items were in their proper homes, and my other komono, Books, Papers, and Sentimental items were all together in one place. Unbelievable!

While my first tidying marathon took a couple weeks, Tidying 2.0 was not even two days. It was helpful to go through the paces to clarify my writing for the guide, but I don't think it's necessary for you to revisit all five categories each year. I will say, though, that your tastes continue to change, and it's important to keep checking in with your possessions to see if they still spark joy. I think it’s a good idea to pull out a category once in awhile and hold your items again to see how you feel.

I was glad to take some time to recognize my first tidying anniversary, and think about all that's happened in the past year. Now that my things are even further reduced, I need to get editing if I want to publish my guide before the end of this year!

Meeting Marie Kondo

I sometimes play up my affection for celebrities I admire (Oprah!), but despite working around Hollywood, I am not a selfie-hunter. I just figure they're people too, trying to go about their day, and posting a photo of me with someone famous doesn't make them my friend, or me more important. The few conversations I've had with actors are virtually the same as I'd have with anyone else. I might mention a performance of theirs, but I prefer learning about their lives in a way that grounds them in the same world we both live in.

This was not the case when I met Marie Kondo. I was excited when I secured tickets to hear her speak as part of her book tour for Spark Joy, though I didn't expect to be more than another face in the crowd. As the date approached, I began to think that I should find a way to thank her for writing Tidying Up, which changed my life. I decided to write a letter and give it to her or one of her handlers at the event. I jotted a couple drafts, and copied the final in my not-so-good handwriting to two sheets of stationery. I also researched and included the customary kanji for opening and closing the letter. Ready to press my luck, I also brought a copy of Tidying Up in case I could ask her to sign it.

Arriving to the auditorium of about 700 attendees, the energy was electric. I was happy to chat with the other excited tidiers, though I was surprised to learn that no one around me had actually started tidying. They were fascinated to hear about my experience, which I shared until the lights came down. Through a show of hands, the announcer confirmed that about half the attendees had read the book, but that only 15 people had completed the KonMari Method. The finishers got our own little round of incredulous applause.

When Marie Kondo was introduced, my adrenaline went to 11. I nodded through her presentation, which was an abbreviated version of the instructions I already knew by heart, and I chuckled at her performance of what "spark joy" feels like. As the session wrapped up, the announcer casually asked everyone to line up for the book signing. It sounds silly and obvious that she would do a signing since she was on a book tour, but I couldn't believe it. I was suddenly extremely nervous!

The crowd slowly inched our way toward the front, and everyone started making deals to snap photos with each other's smartphones. I had my thank you letter ready to present, and I tried to pull together what I would say. Finally, it was our moment. I'll never forget looking into Kondo's sparkly eyes (they really did sparkle), and connecting for those few seconds as I gave her my thanks. Kondo was absolutely sweet and gracious as she took my note and thanked me as well. It was praise all-around, but it was sincere.  

I assume someone on her team coined the term #konvert to designate us KonMari tidiers, but I've never used it because it sounds cult-y to me. I do not worship Marie Kondo, because in the end she's another person like everyone else. In fact, I have this joke where I envision Kondo walking into her perfect, tidy home and greeting her perfect, tidy things, only to open a door and throw her bag into a room piled sky high with junk. I think it’s my way of bringing her down to earth a bit. That said, she also brought me down to earth through tidying, getting me out of the material sphere I'd constructed for myself and allowing me to move on to so much more joy in the present moment. Even if she didn't read the letter, I'm glad I had the opportunity to tell her so.

A Tidy Home is a Tidy Mind

It’s right there in the title, but I never saw it coming. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up changed my life.

A couple months ago, I noticed the book’s exploding popularity and was intrigued by author Marie Kondo's claim that not one client who completed her process has ever relapsed into clutter. Not one? Challenge accepted.

Now, Mullins Projects ain’t messy! No one would ever walk into my home and think it was cluttered, and I have to be well-organized to do what I do. I went in thinking if I picked up a few tips and got a nice summer cleaning out of it, great.

As I read on, driven by Kondo's dedicated, positive encouragement, I found myself becoming more and more excited about the prospect of “tidying thoroughly and completely, all in one go.” Her KonMari Method is relatively simple: you tackle your possessions by category (clothes, books, papers, miscellaneous/household, sentimental), building one pile at a time in the middle of a room. You hold every item in your hands and decide if it “sparks joy." If it makes you happy or you consider it an essential part of your life, keep it. If not, discard it!

Less than two weeks later, I finished: every item of clothing, every book and magazine, every piece of paper, all of my media, accessories, electrical, personal and household supplies, every photo, every sentimental letter and gift, every item in every box, drawer, and closet. I’ve even gone through all my digital files and email (which isn’t discussed in her book). I typically discarded 50-66 percent of my possessions in a given category, except paper, where I eliminated over 90 percent of it.

Try to imagine your own home if it were less than half as full as it is now. I no longer have any items in long-term storage, buried in cardboard boxes, plastic bags, or containers in the recesses of my closet. Everything I own is easily accessible and visible to me. Because I’ve reduced to only the possessions which bring me joy, they are simple to manage, and not a day goes by where I don’t look at one of my shelves and smile.

I’ve never bought into any kind of self-help method before, and I didn’t even think tidying was “self-help” until I experienced the dramatic results. Most significantly, I’ve lost all the small daily anxieties, the tasks that pile up and preoccupy us, make us feel scattered, or keep us up at night. I don’t become half as irritated about inconveniences as I used to - traffic, lines, poor service. These disruptions of order no longer disrupt the order I’ve achieved within.

It was time-consuming to be sure, at times overwhelming, yet I’m confident almost anyone can do it, and I want to tell you it’s worth it. Besides, if you finish your tidying and feel like your life hasn’t changed, you still end up with a tidy house! It’s win-win.

I have so much more to say, and as I’ve talked to friends and loved ones about it, I believe I can contribute my own experience to help others who want to give tidying a go but might need a little more clarification and a friendly push. I’d like to announce my next Mullins Project: I’m going to write a companion guide to Tidying Up! I’ve never done anything like this before, so I’m really excited to see what I come up with. It may be a few months, so stay tuned.